Fasting, Beer, and Friends

So, fasting, beer, and friends, in no particular order…

Let us begin with friends. My favorite Man in the world *Moshe and I were visiting his best friend, and his best friend was talking about fasting late one evening, over beer, or whiskey, or perhaps both. It was a fine discussion, but in a nutshell, he described a spiritual practice of his family in which they would fast from something for a month, such as electronics, or alcohol, as a way of keeping things in check. The whole idea was also beneficial, because they would attempt new hobbies during that time, like cooking for example. The thought struck me curiously, and so I let it simmer.

Not too much later, God impressed on me that I should try it, and I should fast a month from alcohol as well. I do enjoy my beer and whiskey very much; perhaps too much lately,  ha ha! So, fasting from alcohol it is, I told God. He impressed on me to do it sooner than later, so in less than a week I began.

On a personal note, perhaps this will also reveal the more meaningful aspect of it of this choice of fast. Because of all my food allergies, there is not many beverages I can drink. I can have black coffee, unsweetened tea, but most real and artificial sugars really hurt my stomach, so I don’t drink any tea, soda, or juice, unless I have time to pay for it later (and I ain’t got time for that ;) So, most of the time, I drink my Bullet-proof coffee in the early morning, and otherwise I drink water. All. Day. Long. So, to give up any and or all alcohol, which typically doesn’t hurt my stomach, is pretty big for me. I have decided to take up drinking hot teas, ha! Embarrassing side note concluded.

I had been reading Job, and the historical parts of the Bible a lot recently, and in my mind I could see Job sitting in the trash pits outside his home and his town, covered in ashes and sackcloth, baking in the sun with blisters roasting and potshards carving, as he expressed his misery and moaned to God all that he would say. Then I began Daniel, and could see Daniel near the Chebar, waiting on answers from the Lord. In my heart I know my fast is no where near as holy as that, but I am excited still over the possibility of what this fast will reveal, and what is to be learned.

My dear Moshe always points me in a right direction. He reminds me of how, when we give up something for a fast, and then we think about the item, we are prompted to go to God and spend that time dedicated to Him in prayer.  My heart has been so disturbed lately over so many things, and this fast has so far been a great way to clear all that has bogged me down and focus with a more razor sharp clarity on God and His abiding presence. I am trying to retreat to my prayer closet and simply “be” in His presence. I’ve not realized any lofty things, nor been struck by any great ideas, nor came to any divine spiritual realizations, but this strange, sweet sense of His presence, His comfort, His provision of my spiritual needs, has been made more richly known. He is divine, in the realest sense.

Of course I miss beer and whiskey, but it’s a month. What is funny, is that after beginning the fast, our small group also brought up the fast idea, and after discussing it, they are also going to begin fasting in their own way. I’m so excited for each of them, and amazed at God’s timing on each of our respective spiritual journey, and how He provokes the Holy Spirit to prompt things in our soul’s. After our small group was near finishing Phillipians, there was a verse from it that struck me overall in particular, about unity, and how I felt about our small group, and that is Phillipians 2:1-2

“Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, 2make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. “

It has not been an easy fast by far. Definite spiritual obstacles and challenges have come up, some rather frightening, some seem like a downright attack from the enemy. There was an emergency situation, and there was an unexpected plumbing issue, all within the first 9 days. The enemy doesn’t want to make this easy nor a walk in the park, but the struggle—during the fast—-mimics what also happened to Christ with His 40 day fast. There was temptation. We are told to expect it. Whether the temptation is to not complete the fast, or to disobey God, it will come in some form. So, to my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, I want to remind you to expect temptation, and be ready for it. Put on the whole armor of God, and stand firm to resist the enemy. But also be prepared, for all the blessing that will come as you strive to grow closer to our Father in heaven, who Loves us and cares for us and sees us when we are struggling. God bless each of you, and God bless our friends, our brothers and sisters in Christ who know the struggle is real.

*Moshe, my pet name for my dear Man, James

Entertaining Angels

July 29, 2015

I have humbly noticed that I tend to post money related answers to prayer, and have felt convicted to post more “Ebenezer Stones” related to the spiritual realm. So often, prayers are made that are answered directly through some financial blessing, and these types of answered prayers are very concrete and instant, and often times more obvious. However, this isn’t all that God is up to, and I want to be sure to speak of the more subtle things He is doing. 

Sometimes, the prayer requests and answers are things I haven’t even begun to think of praying for. Sometimes, they are things that are answers to other peoples’ prayers. Sometimes, things are happening, and I know God’s hand is at work, doing something huge and divine, and I am an oblivious bystander, just incredulous because He is awesome. These are the things I want to tell you about also. Because He is always at work. Are we able to hear and see? Are we able to witness, and represent? I want to be, although I am a complete idiot at times, God forgive me.

So, today was normal, and yet unusual towards the end.

After the awful sickness from the preceding month, I was playing a lot of mom catch up on things to do. So, today, I caught up on some emails. At around 2pm today, I was going down my to-do list, and got to:

“Print Jack and Lily’s test scores”

Elias, Jack, and Lily were home schooled this past year, and even though we live in Charlotte now, out of comfortability with that which is familiar, I chose to have their annual testing completed in Fayetteville, where we resided for the past 10 years.

A very wonderful woman named Ronda oversees the annual home school testing co-op in Fayetteville, NC, which we had been a part of for almost 10 years, I want to say, and I loved it. Why rock the boat, when you’ve got something good, I say? So we stayed with relatives near Fayetteville, and tested there, like usual. 

Have you seen our Jack, lately? This kid is great. 

He makes quite an impression on people. Especially boys his age. They say he’s just so great. He is so nice. He is so kind. I’m old enough to know better (or maybe I’m just jaded) but I tend to not let it go to my head. I hear nice things about my kids, and I just try and assume every parent thinks their kids are awesome and well-mannered and make the same kind of impression on the other kids, and so yeah, right?

So I’m catching up on some emails today, and I find an email from the testing coordinator, back in mid-June, about another mom, whose son encountered the awesome Jack, and wants to keep in touch. Unfortunately, we have moved to Charlotte, and so we are no longer in close proximity to Fayetteville to maintain friendship for the boys. But I email the mom, on July 29, 2015, anyway, to let the mom know that I appreciate her email and to let her know that we are open to hang out and let the boys play whenever, if we are in Fayetteville, or she is in Charlotte. I thought it was incredibly sweet that another boy would want to hang out with Jack.

Hilariously, the mom responds, and just so happens to be in Charlotte. This afternoon. Can they hang out, even for a short time, this evening?!?!

Of course! I tell the mom our address, cell phone. It doesn’t occur to me till moments before they arrive, that I don’t know this lady, or her son, from Sam Adams. But, in laymens’ terms: my kids’ testing coordinator, Ronda: she’s got street creed. Like incredible creed. Enough creed that I’m giving out my cell and address to an absolute stranger that wants to bring her son over. 

Only hours later, after the short, sweet visit, does all this occur to me.

But this brave Mama. This Mama that listened to the requests of her son. I gotta love her for that. This simple, sweet, soft spoken Mama, whose circles I have walked on the outside edge of for 7+ years now, seeing her and her family at church and home school events, and not knowing them: Thank God for this quiet Mama’s courage, to contact an absolute stranger just because her kid hit it off with another kid. We’ve passed each other on the play ground and in the church hallways for years, always smiling and quiet and gracious. And Thank God for His absolute, amazing, perfect timing, where He arranges divine appointments with people who live hours away from one another, to meet in a large city unexpectedly. 

They showed up at 8:00, after Jack and Lilly’s swim lessons. They were in town to see missionary friends, who are headed to Sierra Leone. They only had a short time to visit, but the child just said that if he could see Jack just for a few minutes, it would be worth it. God hears 8 year old boy’s requests, you know? God pays attention to these sweet children, and blesses the Mamas too in the meantime. We were able to share a few small moments, and not even an hour went by, and they were gone. Her children were sweet: the girls played with Lilly and the boys ran around playing nerf guns with Jack. If it weren't for this kid, we'd never have this time.

Thank you God, for the moments. Thank you God, for the brief, still moments, where we just sit, and enjoy company for a small time, and none of it makes sense till later, but it’s all good anyway. Because You are all good.

Illness, Paused...

June 29 2015

My immediate family and I try to get together with my step-dad and my siblings one Sunday a month for Sunday dinner. I am so thankful for my Step Dad’s wife, who cooks amazingly delicious meals and hosts this monthly event. This past month we got together on June 28, a Sunday afternoon. Our eldest son, Ethan, was visiting us, and it was very special for all of us to get together, enjoy Betty’s delicious cooking, and fellowship with each other. 

Even though it was a typical Southern summer day, which translates to hot and humid, I was oddly cold, and dressed warmer. I was wearing a shirt, light jacket, blue jeans, scarf and shoes, and freezing! I should have known something was up. In reality, I was running a fever, unbeknownst. i froze all day, and went to bed with check lists’ in my head of all the next day’s plans, because it was Lillian’s birthday on Monday, June 29. 

Little did I know, I was about to embark on a 14 day summer illness, along with the rest of my 5 member household. You see, when a big family gets sick, it’s never nice and neat: for example, everyone gets the same illness, at the same time, at the same rate, for the same extended period. No, that’s too easy. What typically happens in a big family is that each person gets sick in stages, like 3 days apart. Which translates to half a month in mom language.

Long story short, however, I woke up on June 29, 2015, at 7:30am, feeling just fine, and worked all day long to make it the most special day an 11 year old birthday girl could dream of, beginning with breakfast in bed, and a party and Grandparents visiting from Sanford, to a fantastic sleep over with friends, rocking out till 11:40pm when i finally turned in for the night and left the birthday girl partying with a friend for an epic sleep over!

       

And I woke up the next morning with a fever of 103.8, wishing I was at the hospital; the first of almost 14 days straight of a horrid summer illness.

Thus began the first leg of the illness, that took over our family from June 30, 2015, till around July 15, 2015. This was the worst summer sickness we’ve ever had! But the Ebenezer Stone is this: even though I was running a fever on June 28, I woke up June 29, like God paused the illness, and was able to do a pretty fine job of making a fabulous birthday for Lillian physically and mentally, and I just want to thank God so much for making that possible! Even when I was sick the following day, all I could think about was how awesome it was that Lily’s birthday was just fine! Mothers out there: y’all know how much you just love your kid, and want their birthday to be the best one ever…well, God made this possible this year for our girl. As a Mom, I couldn't hope for a more beautiful Ebenezer Stone, than to see how wonderfully God worked it out for me to be just fine and do so much for our daughter's birthday! It makes me so thankful for our health, and all that we are able to do! 

Plus, we are over that awful virus, or whatever it was.  Thank you God!

The gift of exchange

Some old adage goes like this:

"When God closes a door, He opens a window".

When I was younger, I didn't appreciate the vagueness, and that the adage was meant as a general sense of comfort. All I could envision was the difficulty of trying to escape from a window where once I could have left from a door. I pictured myself struggling to escape a high window, and falling, most likely, upon exit.

It is funny how adages get slipped into vernacular and become accepted, perhaps mostly without thought. What is even funnier, and sad at the same time, is how the richness of scripture, especially during a trying time, can convey a deeper sense of comfort and nourishment for the soul, if one doesn't mind digging deep. The quick adage, like a cheap food, is substituted for the more ardorous one. The choice between the two is kind of like the difference between eating a taco from fast food, and enjoying a very fine, home-cooked, grilled steak. The steak can be laborious to buy, prepare, and grill---whereas the taco is simply bought; however, the satisfaction, nourishment and taste cannot really be compared.

Isaiah 61:3 is one of those nourishing verses that I offer as a trade for the previous adage in terms of comfort during grief:

God, will do many beautiful things, amongst them:

"(and) provide for those who grieve in Zion-- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor."

Times of mourning are inevitable for us Sons of Adam and Daughters of Eve. Life is full of trials, and sometimes the potential for bitterness can be overwhelming. Mourning is not limited to the loss of a loved ones. Chaotic events, sudden drastic changes of circumstances, illness, and financial stress can also cause excessive grief, amongst other things.

This is why the poetry of scripture can be a powerful comfort in conveying hope during grievous times.

Continuing along the tree analogy referenced previously in another blog, here is the mighty oak of righteousness, and planted by God to display His splendor!

God paints a description of the hope we have to look forward to with the prototype of those who mourn and grieve in Zion with the verse from Isaiah 61:3.

God is going to give those who mourn:

"A crown of beauty for the ashes". Friend, no matter what your ashes look like---there is hope. Ashes vary, by the types of material that they were comprised of and burned previously, but all ashes have a unique characteristic: they are the completely changed leftovers from a previous event. And fire, and burning, can seriously alter ones story.

"The oil of joy instead of mourning". When mourning is spoke of in Job, he tears his cloths, shaves his head, and cuts his body with shards of pottery (Job 1-2), and his friends sit on the ground for seven days with him in his despair. The mental picture is vacuous of hope. Anguish seems permanent. Yet God says He will trade our mourning for the oil of joy. Oil was a symbol of blessing and so much more, in both the Old and New Covenant.  The oil of joy is even more explicit. The mental imagery and contrast between mourning and joy, and ashes(dry) and oil(nourished), are stark themselves.  Later in the book of Job, God blesses Job twice as much as he is blessed in the beginning. God gives Job more children, more flocks, more wealth, and his 'oil of joy' overflows.

Lastly, the "garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair". 

We all know how heavy grief can weigh us down. It is soul-sucking, life-depriving, joy-robbing, and eye-dimming. But it is also a natural human emotion that accompanies many different inevitable life events. Grief is to be expected. Even our Christ wept over Lazarus' death. However, grief is not the end, and our Father prepares new garments for us. 

There is a place for grief, but God has a new garment that He has made ready for us. Let us prepare our hearts also, that we will be ready for the gift of exchange: to be ready to change our mourning to praise when the time comes, as we ultimately display His splendor!

The God Who Saves Trees

Images.

5-18-2014

Sunday morning, around 7:54am. Quiet, still, cool outside. Overcast, but not dark. Just grey skies.

I woke up, made coffee for James and I, and brought his to him upstairs while he was getting ready for the service. 

I went and sat outside, on the next to the bottom porch step in the backyard, and sipped my coffee. I like to sit there instead of the chairs on the porch, because sometimes our neighbors are on their back porch facing our back yard, and it's just awkward. Plus, I'm just a girl that doesn't like being seen.

My mind immediately began to worry, fumbling around half asleep over an incomplete grade in Accounting, turning over the justifiable reasons of how I may defend myself to a professor, when...

I caught myself, mentally. In my spirit, the Spirit checks me, like a turning of the head, angles-- facing a different direction, and He reminds me, all the truths of God-breathed scripture/bread/life that He has embedded in my soul, and I stopped worrying, and began giving thanks. Because thanks and gratitude is the remedy for worry. In my mind/soul, Being quietly checked, I cease the worry and begin:

Thank You, God, for You.

Thank You God, for Your love.

Thank You, God, for my husband.

Thank You, God, for my children.

Thank You God, for this life you have given me. 

This beautiful, quiet, morning. The air, for being so cool. Thank You, God, for such a quiet, cool morning.

And suddenly, like I was in two places, but not, I see an image in my mind/spirit. It's so real, you can almost feel it.

I am looking out from a tree. Like I'm up in the tree, but not terribly high. Perhaps I am looking from within the tree itself. The limbs are strong, beautiful, and free of gnarls, disease spots, or damage. The limbs/bark is the beautiful ash/white/grey, like a birch sort of, or maybe an oak? The branches are full of leaves, like summer has exploded into growth and the lush, green leaves furl out, and it is raining. There is a soft, steady, gentle rain, and water is dripping happily, busy. The rains sounds like a chorus in unison and perfect in step. Beyond the branches, right beside the edge of the shade cast from the tree, is a strong little river. This River is beautiful, full of life, and flowing---coursing merrily by the tree. The tree is nourished and strong because of it. There is such a feeling of life, and contentment; growth and renewal, strength and the future flow happily from this River. The rain is falling, the leaves have water sliding down them and their greenness is so shiny and bright, it looks more beautiful than the most iridescent emerald, shining in the sun. Life, is living, before me.

I finished my coffee and went inside, wondering why I saw the mystery of what I saw, as I got myself and the children ready for church this morning.

Hours later, the children are in children's church, and James begins to lead the service with a prayer, and then the first song of praise is sung. In the middle of the song, the image of the tree comes back to me: cool, green, leaves; rain. The River flowing, strong and happy. Life breathed. In my soul, I gave thanks as I sing the praise song, my heart and soul worshiping our Great and wonderful God.

Songs are sang, prayers made, and then James opens the sermon. We hadn't had time to talk much the past few weeks, out of too much busyness. I didn't even know what he was going to preach about, or even what scripture he was preaching from. I was with the children, rather than the Adult Bible Study the previous Wednesday evening.
James begins the message, and asks us to listen, rather than read, from the passage, as he opens the Word of God. He said close your eyes if you need to, and hear what God says.

Psalms 1:1-3

"Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,

 nor stands in the way of sinners, 

nor sits in the seat of scoffers; 

but his delight is in the law of the Lord, 

and on his law he meditates day and night. 

He is like a tree planted by streams of water 

that yields its fruit in its season, 

and its leaf does not wither. 

In all that he does, he prospers. (Psalm 1:1-3 ESV)

And then the eyes of my soul were opened, and my heart recognized what He was gently giving me. A gift. An image of a tree, nurtured by the living water of God. Yet, a tree does not produce constantly; it is seasonal. When the season comes, it will yield its fruit. There is much gardening and tending imagery in the Bible; Isaiah 5 has another story of a vine dresser tending his garden--a picture of Christ. 

This is what it can be like in our hearts, as someone has said before I'm sure: the cultivation of the soul. He is tending His garden. The question remains-what kind of fruit will we give when our season is upon us?
Hear:
James' Sermon Sunday morning

Letting you go hungry, to humble you momentarily

Yes, he humbled you by letting you go hungry and then feeding you with manna, a food previously unknown to you and your ancestors. He did it to teach you that people do not live by bread alone; rather, we live by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. (Deuteronomy 8:3 NLT)

     I have been very blessed during this time of Lent as I read my daily Bible readings and the Bible reading plan from Lent: Mosaic plan as well. There is a strange correlation, not wholly clear but slowly tying together, as the readings from the Old and New Testaments coalesce. God planted the Garden and placed the man there:

"Then the Lord God planted a garden in Eden in the east, and there he placed the man he had made."(Genesis 2:8 NLT).

Later on, after the children of Israel had been in bondage to Egypt for hundreds of years, God seeks out Moses, calls him and commands him to go and tell Pharaoh 

"And they will listen to your voice, and you and the elders of Israel shall go to the king of Egypt and say to him, "The Lord, the God of the Hebrews, has met with us; and now, please let us go a three days' journey into the wilderness, that we may sacrifice to the Lord our God." (Exodus 3:18 ESV)

     Through many signs and miracles, God establishes His power and authority and brings the children of Israel out of Egypt, and to Him in the wilderness where He then tests them. He tests them so harshly that they long for the meat pots of Egypt, apparently forgetting the acerbity of their trials while there.

"And the whole congregation of the people of Israel grumbled against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness, and the people of Israel said to them, "Would that we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the meat pots and ate bread to the full, for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger." (Exodus 16:2, 3 ESV) 

     At every trial, around every corner, God already had a path and plan laid ahead of time. He provided water every time there was a need: 

"When they came to Marah, they could not drink the water of Marah because it was bitter; therefore it was named Marah. And the people grumbled against Moses, saying, "What shall we drink?" And he cried to the Lord, and the Lord showed him a log, and he threw it into the water, and the water became sweet. There the Lord made for them a statute and a rule, and there he tested them, saying, "If you will diligently listen to the voice of the Lord your God, and do that which is right in his eyes, and give ear to his commandments and keep all his statutes, I will put none of the diseases on you that I put on the Egyptians, for I am the Lord, your healer." (Exodus 15:23-26 ESV).

     Time after time, God proves Himself faithful. 

     Yet the people, not unlike us, were so very dull to learn. Despite turn after turn since before they even left Egypt, God had been with them, listening all along. I can't help but wondering what would have happened in the children of Israel's case, if they had done what God required- to learn to trust and live by every word that comes from the mouth of God, and not simply rely on bread alone for sustenance.

     In my foolish, youthful pride as I read these stories long ago, I used to think that if I saw the plagues of Egypt, if I saw the pillar of cloud and pillar of fire, if I saw the Red Sea being parted, if I saw Manna being rained down and clouds of quail being poured out---I used to think I would have reacted differently and "known better" than to grumble. After years of blundering along in my own mini "wildernesses" though, I have seen with my own eyes how foolish I was to even think that, because I am truly no different than the children of Israel. I'm just as thick headed. And God has been patient, and always proved Himself faithful though He tries my heart. How would I know He could be trusted to provide, if the affliction did not come?

     So, every day, we have a new opportunity to see for ourselves. Though we may not be wandering in a literal wilderness, we face our own trials, and are posed  the same questions. Our reactions, our hearts thoughts---whether we choose to grumble, or pray, can certainly make a difference. He has proved Himself faithful at each instance, whether we speak or complain too soon. 

     Therefore Paul's admonishment, like granite words, echoes the Spirit of what God seeks in us and can be relied on, like standing upon a rock.

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:16-18 ESV)

     What we see in the Valley is not the end. Like the Psalmist says, He is leading us through the Valley of the shadow of death. I do not think any of us can begin to imagine what the view will be like when we reach the Mountain top, especially during our afflictions, but take heart.

Like C. S. Lewis says:

"Further up, and further in!"

     

Sometimes We don't even have to ask...

     We grow weary sometimes. My dear Man--my James, who I love to refer to as my Moshe--he grows tired sometimes. He carries the weight and burdens of his job faithfully, and he loves his work, but even Pastors need a day of rest. As either Bilbo or Frodo said, our souls feel thin and stretched out. That's when rest for the soul is called for.

     In the past, we have seen each other get spread thin over the years, when the burdens of life weigh on us, and we both recognize that down time is necessary. Through invaluable advice from some elders a while back, we try to give one another mini-breaks, where one of us watches the kids and the other takes a few days to recharge. The elderly couple we know that taught us this were Christian counselors, and they would take a two week vacation once a year: one week alone, and one week together. While that may seem odd to some, the opportunity for prayer, meditation, and reflection with just yourself and God is tremendous and can really recharge a persons' soul. We don't have two weeks to spare, ever, so we try to take a few days every other year or so. 

     So, this week, during my full time college Spring break, we took the opportunity of no school pressure and I asked him to go away for a few days and rest and recharge. Quite suddenly, I might add. I just knew it needed to be done. My Moshe had mentioned wanting a small break weeks before, so Monday this week we made it happen. I have enjoyed all my downtime with the kids, relaxing and watching them play mostly, and James found a cottage at a Christian retreat center near the ocean that was affordable and hit the road.

     But God. God, our Father, intended much more. The first night he slept in the cottage, and called me the next morning to catch up. The place is beautiful, right beside the sea. He said there was a conference going on, for Pastors, while he's there. Then he mentioned that his back was stiff from the mattress, chit-chatted, and my day was starting so we said our good byes.

     Not much later that morning, he texted and told me that a delivery truck brought in new mattresses and that he would be sleeping on a brand new mattress that night! I laughed out loud when I read it. I don't think he even thought to ask our Father for a new mattress. How many things we don't even think to ask, but there it is. 

     But God. Later on, James is exploring all over, walking, praying and meditating on the grounds, and he meets other Pastors on a pier. They are with a large group of Pastors from Raleigh, who have been annually coming to the same place for many years--to simply pray together for 3 days and worship God. They strongly urge James to come to their prayer and worship time later that evening. James goes, and has the most amazing experience, as men who have been Pastors for 30+ years pray for him and his burdens for ministry. He comes away from it rejoicing, that God sent him there, at that specific time, and that he received such a blessing! 

     "Blessed be The Lord, who daily bears our burden, The God who is our salvation." Psalms 68:19.

Our God is amazing, and the works of His hands are wonderous to behold. He dumbfounds me with His lovingkindness; His love fills my innermost being.

That the Father would touch our hearts so personally, so intimately, as to deliver a brand new mattress for my soul weary husband to sleep on---and have godly, fellow Pastors come along beside him and pray for my Moshe as well----God demonstrates His love as He provides rest for the body and rest for the soul!

     

Little things

     A friend, while talking about coffee the other day, said the old adage "It's the little pleasures, that are what life is all about". To me, another one of those little pleasures is seeing the impossible done, recording it, and sharing it with others. 

     I used to say the devil is in the details, but I believe that's just a big lie of the enemy now. Rather, it's our Maker who's in the details, but that just doesn't roll off the tongue as easily as the prior.

     It is always about the details, though. You see, time is a commodity I have so little of, that it's painstakingly, and precariously balanced in our family. The Man was working two jobs. We have a high school student. I home school the two younger children. And oh yeah. I'm a full time college student in my Senior year.

     So, this past week, I was diligently attempting to read 75+ very extensive pages for Business Law-in between soccer practice, car pool duties, groceries, horseback riding lessons, bath times, meal preparation, Prayer meetings, church, home school, and maybe even some exercise. So I toted Business Law with me every where, in the hopes I could tackle chapters 15, 16, & 17 so I could be prepared for the test Monday evening.

     And then, the night before the test was due, I fell ill. So ill, that Sunday evening I lay on my bathroom floor and didn't care because I was out of my mind in pain ill. Monday morning, I can't remember if I got out of bed; my dear 9 year old daughter made coffee for me (I didn't know she could even do that?!?), & I tried to look at those dreaded chapters 15-17, which were not easy reading on a completely normal day, to say the least. My husband had graciously taken the boys to an annual eye appointment at Duke University, so they were out for the day. My daughter cared for me.

     Usually, my habit for studying involves highlighting important texts, rereading the focus concept synopsis's, writing down key words with page numbers for easy reference, and just making sure I read all the material. I tried to do this all Monday, through a state of delirium. Lily made a nice sandwich for herself, and worked on her school work beside me in bed. It was a nice bonding time except for my stomach pains.

     I regained some sense of awareness by Monday evening, and having finished the chapters, sat down in my study to take the timed test before the cut off.  Our tests are due Monday evening typically.  It is a 20 question test that is allotted a time of 60 minutes. Multiple choice and true/false questions. It is thankfully open book, but due to the rigorous amount of material, the professors always strictly admonish us to be thoroughly acquainted with the material before the test, because it's so exhaustive. There are a pool of 200 questions from the material, practically guarenteeing that no two students will have the same two tests, which greatly, if not completely, eliminates cheating. 

     I'm not proud to admit it, but I had made 76 on each of the previous tests, because the material is just a lot to take in. But 76 is a C, and a C passes the class, so this formerly straight A student has just accepted that that is the season I'm in. God gives grace to the humble.

     I took a breath, said a quick prayer, and clicked the link to begin the test.  After only 3 questions and a few minutes had passed, I quickly realized I didn't recognize any of the questions. I didn't recognize any of the key words. Panic set in, momentarily. The countdown clock in the corner, like a bad omen, said 55 min's 27 seconds remaining. My head was filled with uncertainty. Quickly, I thought despairingly to look at the course syllabus. I cleared the books, notebooks, etc from my school binder and furiously flipped to the syllabus, and saw the ghastly truth. I was supposed to read Chapters 10, 11, 12 for that weeks test. I had read the wrong chapters.

     Now, for those of you who think like my husband, and wondered why I hadn't been reading in order anyway, here is the explanation: the book is not a final draft, and is a work in progress, which means the chapters are literally out of order. The professor also picks the assigned readings out of order as well, according to his preference. It makes sense for his progression of covering the material.

     But back to the story. After realizing that I had read the wrong chapters, there was only one thing I could do. I prayed. I prayed earnestly, for a moment, that God would enable and equip me to pass this test. I prayed, against my own disbelief, that I would make a better grade than I had been making, like an 84. Yes. I prayed for an 84. Despite the odds. 

     Then, I quickly thumbed through the book and found chapters 10-12. (I want to say that they were literally *after* chapters 15-17). I looked at the key words in each question to determine what particular topic was being discussed from which chapter. And then I made the best educated guess on each question that I could. I perused each answer and hoped and prayed that I read the tidbits I could find and answer the question as best as I possibly could. When it was all said and done, weary and dog-tired, I submitted the test.

     The cool thing about those kind of tests is that they are submitted and graded automatically by computer, so there is no waiting around. I shut my eyes for a moment, grimacing inwardly but not imagining the worst, and clicked on "show results". 

     I made an 85. Not a 76, like the other tests before. Not an 84, like I prayed. But an 85. Like God was saying, 

"I see ya and hear ya dear girl. Here's what you asked for, & an extra point just to show you I love you."

"As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust." (Psalm 103:13, 14 ESV)

Let our faith be increased. Let those who are weeping, perhaps see, and begin to laugh.