Letting you go hungry, to humble you momentarily

Yes, he humbled you by letting you go hungry and then feeding you with manna, a food previously unknown to you and your ancestors. He did it to teach you that people do not live by bread alone; rather, we live by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. (Deuteronomy 8:3 NLT)

     I have been very blessed during this time of Lent as I read my daily Bible readings and the Bible reading plan from Lent: Mosaic plan as well. There is a strange correlation, not wholly clear but slowly tying together, as the readings from the Old and New Testaments coalesce. God planted the Garden and placed the man there:

"Then the Lord God planted a garden in Eden in the east, and there he placed the man he had made."(Genesis 2:8 NLT).

Later on, after the children of Israel had been in bondage to Egypt for hundreds of years, God seeks out Moses, calls him and commands him to go and tell Pharaoh 

"And they will listen to your voice, and you and the elders of Israel shall go to the king of Egypt and say to him, "The Lord, the God of the Hebrews, has met with us; and now, please let us go a three days' journey into the wilderness, that we may sacrifice to the Lord our God." (Exodus 3:18 ESV)

     Through many signs and miracles, God establishes His power and authority and brings the children of Israel out of Egypt, and to Him in the wilderness where He then tests them. He tests them so harshly that they long for the meat pots of Egypt, apparently forgetting the acerbity of their trials while there.

"And the whole congregation of the people of Israel grumbled against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness, and the people of Israel said to them, "Would that we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the meat pots and ate bread to the full, for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger." (Exodus 16:2, 3 ESV) 

     At every trial, around every corner, God already had a path and plan laid ahead of time. He provided water every time there was a need: 

"When they came to Marah, they could not drink the water of Marah because it was bitter; therefore it was named Marah. And the people grumbled against Moses, saying, "What shall we drink?" And he cried to the Lord, and the Lord showed him a log, and he threw it into the water, and the water became sweet. There the Lord made for them a statute and a rule, and there he tested them, saying, "If you will diligently listen to the voice of the Lord your God, and do that which is right in his eyes, and give ear to his commandments and keep all his statutes, I will put none of the diseases on you that I put on the Egyptians, for I am the Lord, your healer." (Exodus 15:23-26 ESV).

     Time after time, God proves Himself faithful. 

     Yet the people, not unlike us, were so very dull to learn. Despite turn after turn since before they even left Egypt, God had been with them, listening all along. I can't help but wondering what would have happened in the children of Israel's case, if they had done what God required- to learn to trust and live by every word that comes from the mouth of God, and not simply rely on bread alone for sustenance.

     In my foolish, youthful pride as I read these stories long ago, I used to think that if I saw the plagues of Egypt, if I saw the pillar of cloud and pillar of fire, if I saw the Red Sea being parted, if I saw Manna being rained down and clouds of quail being poured out---I used to think I would have reacted differently and "known better" than to grumble. After years of blundering along in my own mini "wildernesses" though, I have seen with my own eyes how foolish I was to even think that, because I am truly no different than the children of Israel. I'm just as thick headed. And God has been patient, and always proved Himself faithful though He tries my heart. How would I know He could be trusted to provide, if the affliction did not come?

     So, every day, we have a new opportunity to see for ourselves. Though we may not be wandering in a literal wilderness, we face our own trials, and are posed  the same questions. Our reactions, our hearts thoughts---whether we choose to grumble, or pray, can certainly make a difference. He has proved Himself faithful at each instance, whether we speak or complain too soon. 

     Therefore Paul's admonishment, like granite words, echoes the Spirit of what God seeks in us and can be relied on, like standing upon a rock.

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:16-18 ESV)

     What we see in the Valley is not the end. Like the Psalmist says, He is leading us through the Valley of the shadow of death. I do not think any of us can begin to imagine what the view will be like when we reach the Mountain top, especially during our afflictions, but take heart.

Like C. S. Lewis says:

"Further up, and further in!"

     

Little things

     A friend, while talking about coffee the other day, said the old adage "It's the little pleasures, that are what life is all about". To me, another one of those little pleasures is seeing the impossible done, recording it, and sharing it with others. 

     I used to say the devil is in the details, but I believe that's just a big lie of the enemy now. Rather, it's our Maker who's in the details, but that just doesn't roll off the tongue as easily as the prior.

     It is always about the details, though. You see, time is a commodity I have so little of, that it's painstakingly, and precariously balanced in our family. The Man was working two jobs. We have a high school student. I home school the two younger children. And oh yeah. I'm a full time college student in my Senior year.

     So, this past week, I was diligently attempting to read 75+ very extensive pages for Business Law-in between soccer practice, car pool duties, groceries, horseback riding lessons, bath times, meal preparation, Prayer meetings, church, home school, and maybe even some exercise. So I toted Business Law with me every where, in the hopes I could tackle chapters 15, 16, & 17 so I could be prepared for the test Monday evening.

     And then, the night before the test was due, I fell ill. So ill, that Sunday evening I lay on my bathroom floor and didn't care because I was out of my mind in pain ill. Monday morning, I can't remember if I got out of bed; my dear 9 year old daughter made coffee for me (I didn't know she could even do that?!?), & I tried to look at those dreaded chapters 15-17, which were not easy reading on a completely normal day, to say the least. My husband had graciously taken the boys to an annual eye appointment at Duke University, so they were out for the day. My daughter cared for me.

     Usually, my habit for studying involves highlighting important texts, rereading the focus concept synopsis's, writing down key words with page numbers for easy reference, and just making sure I read all the material. I tried to do this all Monday, through a state of delirium. Lily made a nice sandwich for herself, and worked on her school work beside me in bed. It was a nice bonding time except for my stomach pains.

     I regained some sense of awareness by Monday evening, and having finished the chapters, sat down in my study to take the timed test before the cut off.  Our tests are due Monday evening typically.  It is a 20 question test that is allotted a time of 60 minutes. Multiple choice and true/false questions. It is thankfully open book, but due to the rigorous amount of material, the professors always strictly admonish us to be thoroughly acquainted with the material before the test, because it's so exhaustive. There are a pool of 200 questions from the material, practically guarenteeing that no two students will have the same two tests, which greatly, if not completely, eliminates cheating. 

     I'm not proud to admit it, but I had made 76 on each of the previous tests, because the material is just a lot to take in. But 76 is a C, and a C passes the class, so this formerly straight A student has just accepted that that is the season I'm in. God gives grace to the humble.

     I took a breath, said a quick prayer, and clicked the link to begin the test.  After only 3 questions and a few minutes had passed, I quickly realized I didn't recognize any of the questions. I didn't recognize any of the key words. Panic set in, momentarily. The countdown clock in the corner, like a bad omen, said 55 min's 27 seconds remaining. My head was filled with uncertainty. Quickly, I thought despairingly to look at the course syllabus. I cleared the books, notebooks, etc from my school binder and furiously flipped to the syllabus, and saw the ghastly truth. I was supposed to read Chapters 10, 11, 12 for that weeks test. I had read the wrong chapters.

     Now, for those of you who think like my husband, and wondered why I hadn't been reading in order anyway, here is the explanation: the book is not a final draft, and is a work in progress, which means the chapters are literally out of order. The professor also picks the assigned readings out of order as well, according to his preference. It makes sense for his progression of covering the material.

     But back to the story. After realizing that I had read the wrong chapters, there was only one thing I could do. I prayed. I prayed earnestly, for a moment, that God would enable and equip me to pass this test. I prayed, against my own disbelief, that I would make a better grade than I had been making, like an 84. Yes. I prayed for an 84. Despite the odds. 

     Then, I quickly thumbed through the book and found chapters 10-12. (I want to say that they were literally *after* chapters 15-17). I looked at the key words in each question to determine what particular topic was being discussed from which chapter. And then I made the best educated guess on each question that I could. I perused each answer and hoped and prayed that I read the tidbits I could find and answer the question as best as I possibly could. When it was all said and done, weary and dog-tired, I submitted the test.

     The cool thing about those kind of tests is that they are submitted and graded automatically by computer, so there is no waiting around. I shut my eyes for a moment, grimacing inwardly but not imagining the worst, and clicked on "show results". 

     I made an 85. Not a 76, like the other tests before. Not an 84, like I prayed. But an 85. Like God was saying, 

"I see ya and hear ya dear girl. Here's what you asked for, & an extra point just to show you I love you."

"As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust." (Psalm 103:13, 14 ESV)

Let our faith be increased. Let those who are weeping, perhaps see, and begin to laugh.