The gift of exchange

Some old adage goes like this:

"When God closes a door, He opens a window".

When I was younger, I didn't appreciate the vagueness, and that the adage was meant as a general sense of comfort. All I could envision was the difficulty of trying to escape from a window where once I could have left from a door. I pictured myself struggling to escape a high window, and falling, most likely, upon exit.

It is funny how adages get slipped into vernacular and become accepted, perhaps mostly without thought. What is even funnier, and sad at the same time, is how the richness of scripture, especially during a trying time, can convey a deeper sense of comfort and nourishment for the soul, if one doesn't mind digging deep. The quick adage, like a cheap food, is substituted for the more ardorous one. The choice between the two is kind of like the difference between eating a taco from fast food, and enjoying a very fine, home-cooked, grilled steak. The steak can be laborious to buy, prepare, and grill---whereas the taco is simply bought; however, the satisfaction, nourishment and taste cannot really be compared.

Isaiah 61:3 is one of those nourishing verses that I offer as a trade for the previous adage in terms of comfort during grief:

God, will do many beautiful things, amongst them:

"(and) provide for those who grieve in Zion-- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor."

Times of mourning are inevitable for us Sons of Adam and Daughters of Eve. Life is full of trials, and sometimes the potential for bitterness can be overwhelming. Mourning is not limited to the loss of a loved ones. Chaotic events, sudden drastic changes of circumstances, illness, and financial stress can also cause excessive grief, amongst other things.

This is why the poetry of scripture can be a powerful comfort in conveying hope during grievous times.

Continuing along the tree analogy referenced previously in another blog, here is the mighty oak of righteousness, and planted by God to display His splendor!

God paints a description of the hope we have to look forward to with the prototype of those who mourn and grieve in Zion with the verse from Isaiah 61:3.

God is going to give those who mourn:

"A crown of beauty for the ashes". Friend, no matter what your ashes look like---there is hope. Ashes vary, by the types of material that they were comprised of and burned previously, but all ashes have a unique characteristic: they are the completely changed leftovers from a previous event. And fire, and burning, can seriously alter ones story.

"The oil of joy instead of mourning". When mourning is spoke of in Job, he tears his cloths, shaves his head, and cuts his body with shards of pottery (Job 1-2), and his friends sit on the ground for seven days with him in his despair. The mental picture is vacuous of hope. Anguish seems permanent. Yet God says He will trade our mourning for the oil of joy. Oil was a symbol of blessing and so much more, in both the Old and New Covenant.  The oil of joy is even more explicit. The mental imagery and contrast between mourning and joy, and ashes(dry) and oil(nourished), are stark themselves.  Later in the book of Job, God blesses Job twice as much as he is blessed in the beginning. God gives Job more children, more flocks, more wealth, and his 'oil of joy' overflows.

Lastly, the "garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair". 

We all know how heavy grief can weigh us down. It is soul-sucking, life-depriving, joy-robbing, and eye-dimming. But it is also a natural human emotion that accompanies many different inevitable life events. Grief is to be expected. Even our Christ wept over Lazarus' death. However, grief is not the end, and our Father prepares new garments for us. 

There is a place for grief, but God has a new garment that He has made ready for us. Let us prepare our hearts also, that we will be ready for the gift of exchange: to be ready to change our mourning to praise when the time comes, as we ultimately display His splendor!

The God Who Saves Trees

Images.

5-18-2014

Sunday morning, around 7:54am. Quiet, still, cool outside. Overcast, but not dark. Just grey skies.

I woke up, made coffee for James and I, and brought his to him upstairs while he was getting ready for the service. 

I went and sat outside, on the next to the bottom porch step in the backyard, and sipped my coffee. I like to sit there instead of the chairs on the porch, because sometimes our neighbors are on their back porch facing our back yard, and it's just awkward. Plus, I'm just a girl that doesn't like being seen.

My mind immediately began to worry, fumbling around half asleep over an incomplete grade in Accounting, turning over the justifiable reasons of how I may defend myself to a professor, when...

I caught myself, mentally. In my spirit, the Spirit checks me, like a turning of the head, angles-- facing a different direction, and He reminds me, all the truths of God-breathed scripture/bread/life that He has embedded in my soul, and I stopped worrying, and began giving thanks. Because thanks and gratitude is the remedy for worry. In my mind/soul, Being quietly checked, I cease the worry and begin:

Thank You, God, for You.

Thank You God, for Your love.

Thank You, God, for my husband.

Thank You, God, for my children.

Thank You God, for this life you have given me. 

This beautiful, quiet, morning. The air, for being so cool. Thank You, God, for such a quiet, cool morning.

And suddenly, like I was in two places, but not, I see an image in my mind/spirit. It's so real, you can almost feel it.

I am looking out from a tree. Like I'm up in the tree, but not terribly high. Perhaps I am looking from within the tree itself. The limbs are strong, beautiful, and free of gnarls, disease spots, or damage. The limbs/bark is the beautiful ash/white/grey, like a birch sort of, or maybe an oak? The branches are full of leaves, like summer has exploded into growth and the lush, green leaves furl out, and it is raining. There is a soft, steady, gentle rain, and water is dripping happily, busy. The rains sounds like a chorus in unison and perfect in step. Beyond the branches, right beside the edge of the shade cast from the tree, is a strong little river. This River is beautiful, full of life, and flowing---coursing merrily by the tree. The tree is nourished and strong because of it. There is such a feeling of life, and contentment; growth and renewal, strength and the future flow happily from this River. The rain is falling, the leaves have water sliding down them and their greenness is so shiny and bright, it looks more beautiful than the most iridescent emerald, shining in the sun. Life, is living, before me.

I finished my coffee and went inside, wondering why I saw the mystery of what I saw, as I got myself and the children ready for church this morning.

Hours later, the children are in children's church, and James begins to lead the service with a prayer, and then the first song of praise is sung. In the middle of the song, the image of the tree comes back to me: cool, green, leaves; rain. The River flowing, strong and happy. Life breathed. In my soul, I gave thanks as I sing the praise song, my heart and soul worshiping our Great and wonderful God.

Songs are sang, prayers made, and then James opens the sermon. We hadn't had time to talk much the past few weeks, out of too much busyness. I didn't even know what he was going to preach about, or even what scripture he was preaching from. I was with the children, rather than the Adult Bible Study the previous Wednesday evening.
James begins the message, and asks us to listen, rather than read, from the passage, as he opens the Word of God. He said close your eyes if you need to, and hear what God says.

Psalms 1:1-3

"Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,

 nor stands in the way of sinners, 

nor sits in the seat of scoffers; 

but his delight is in the law of the Lord, 

and on his law he meditates day and night. 

He is like a tree planted by streams of water 

that yields its fruit in its season, 

and its leaf does not wither. 

In all that he does, he prospers. (Psalm 1:1-3 ESV)

And then the eyes of my soul were opened, and my heart recognized what He was gently giving me. A gift. An image of a tree, nurtured by the living water of God. Yet, a tree does not produce constantly; it is seasonal. When the season comes, it will yield its fruit. There is much gardening and tending imagery in the Bible; Isaiah 5 has another story of a vine dresser tending his garden--a picture of Christ. 

This is what it can be like in our hearts, as someone has said before I'm sure: the cultivation of the soul. He is tending His garden. The question remains-what kind of fruit will we give when our season is upon us?
Hear:
James' Sermon Sunday morning

Sometimes We don't even have to ask...

     We grow weary sometimes. My dear Man--my James, who I love to refer to as my Moshe--he grows tired sometimes. He carries the weight and burdens of his job faithfully, and he loves his work, but even Pastors need a day of rest. As either Bilbo or Frodo said, our souls feel thin and stretched out. That's when rest for the soul is called for.

     In the past, we have seen each other get spread thin over the years, when the burdens of life weigh on us, and we both recognize that down time is necessary. Through invaluable advice from some elders a while back, we try to give one another mini-breaks, where one of us watches the kids and the other takes a few days to recharge. The elderly couple we know that taught us this were Christian counselors, and they would take a two week vacation once a year: one week alone, and one week together. While that may seem odd to some, the opportunity for prayer, meditation, and reflection with just yourself and God is tremendous and can really recharge a persons' soul. We don't have two weeks to spare, ever, so we try to take a few days every other year or so. 

     So, this week, during my full time college Spring break, we took the opportunity of no school pressure and I asked him to go away for a few days and rest and recharge. Quite suddenly, I might add. I just knew it needed to be done. My Moshe had mentioned wanting a small break weeks before, so Monday this week we made it happen. I have enjoyed all my downtime with the kids, relaxing and watching them play mostly, and James found a cottage at a Christian retreat center near the ocean that was affordable and hit the road.

     But God. God, our Father, intended much more. The first night he slept in the cottage, and called me the next morning to catch up. The place is beautiful, right beside the sea. He said there was a conference going on, for Pastors, while he's there. Then he mentioned that his back was stiff from the mattress, chit-chatted, and my day was starting so we said our good byes.

     Not much later that morning, he texted and told me that a delivery truck brought in new mattresses and that he would be sleeping on a brand new mattress that night! I laughed out loud when I read it. I don't think he even thought to ask our Father for a new mattress. How many things we don't even think to ask, but there it is. 

     But God. Later on, James is exploring all over, walking, praying and meditating on the grounds, and he meets other Pastors on a pier. They are with a large group of Pastors from Raleigh, who have been annually coming to the same place for many years--to simply pray together for 3 days and worship God. They strongly urge James to come to their prayer and worship time later that evening. James goes, and has the most amazing experience, as men who have been Pastors for 30+ years pray for him and his burdens for ministry. He comes away from it rejoicing, that God sent him there, at that specific time, and that he received such a blessing! 

     "Blessed be The Lord, who daily bears our burden, The God who is our salvation." Psalms 68:19.

Our God is amazing, and the works of His hands are wonderous to behold. He dumbfounds me with His lovingkindness; His love fills my innermost being.

That the Father would touch our hearts so personally, so intimately, as to deliver a brand new mattress for my soul weary husband to sleep on---and have godly, fellow Pastors come along beside him and pray for my Moshe as well----God demonstrates His love as He provides rest for the body and rest for the soul!

     

Little things

     A friend, while talking about coffee the other day, said the old adage "It's the little pleasures, that are what life is all about". To me, another one of those little pleasures is seeing the impossible done, recording it, and sharing it with others. 

     I used to say the devil is in the details, but I believe that's just a big lie of the enemy now. Rather, it's our Maker who's in the details, but that just doesn't roll off the tongue as easily as the prior.

     It is always about the details, though. You see, time is a commodity I have so little of, that it's painstakingly, and precariously balanced in our family. The Man was working two jobs. We have a high school student. I home school the two younger children. And oh yeah. I'm a full time college student in my Senior year.

     So, this past week, I was diligently attempting to read 75+ very extensive pages for Business Law-in between soccer practice, car pool duties, groceries, horseback riding lessons, bath times, meal preparation, Prayer meetings, church, home school, and maybe even some exercise. So I toted Business Law with me every where, in the hopes I could tackle chapters 15, 16, & 17 so I could be prepared for the test Monday evening.

     And then, the night before the test was due, I fell ill. So ill, that Sunday evening I lay on my bathroom floor and didn't care because I was out of my mind in pain ill. Monday morning, I can't remember if I got out of bed; my dear 9 year old daughter made coffee for me (I didn't know she could even do that?!?), & I tried to look at those dreaded chapters 15-17, which were not easy reading on a completely normal day, to say the least. My husband had graciously taken the boys to an annual eye appointment at Duke University, so they were out for the day. My daughter cared for me.

     Usually, my habit for studying involves highlighting important texts, rereading the focus concept synopsis's, writing down key words with page numbers for easy reference, and just making sure I read all the material. I tried to do this all Monday, through a state of delirium. Lily made a nice sandwich for herself, and worked on her school work beside me in bed. It was a nice bonding time except for my stomach pains.

     I regained some sense of awareness by Monday evening, and having finished the chapters, sat down in my study to take the timed test before the cut off.  Our tests are due Monday evening typically.  It is a 20 question test that is allotted a time of 60 minutes. Multiple choice and true/false questions. It is thankfully open book, but due to the rigorous amount of material, the professors always strictly admonish us to be thoroughly acquainted with the material before the test, because it's so exhaustive. There are a pool of 200 questions from the material, practically guarenteeing that no two students will have the same two tests, which greatly, if not completely, eliminates cheating. 

     I'm not proud to admit it, but I had made 76 on each of the previous tests, because the material is just a lot to take in. But 76 is a C, and a C passes the class, so this formerly straight A student has just accepted that that is the season I'm in. God gives grace to the humble.

     I took a breath, said a quick prayer, and clicked the link to begin the test.  After only 3 questions and a few minutes had passed, I quickly realized I didn't recognize any of the questions. I didn't recognize any of the key words. Panic set in, momentarily. The countdown clock in the corner, like a bad omen, said 55 min's 27 seconds remaining. My head was filled with uncertainty. Quickly, I thought despairingly to look at the course syllabus. I cleared the books, notebooks, etc from my school binder and furiously flipped to the syllabus, and saw the ghastly truth. I was supposed to read Chapters 10, 11, 12 for that weeks test. I had read the wrong chapters.

     Now, for those of you who think like my husband, and wondered why I hadn't been reading in order anyway, here is the explanation: the book is not a final draft, and is a work in progress, which means the chapters are literally out of order. The professor also picks the assigned readings out of order as well, according to his preference. It makes sense for his progression of covering the material.

     But back to the story. After realizing that I had read the wrong chapters, there was only one thing I could do. I prayed. I prayed earnestly, for a moment, that God would enable and equip me to pass this test. I prayed, against my own disbelief, that I would make a better grade than I had been making, like an 84. Yes. I prayed for an 84. Despite the odds. 

     Then, I quickly thumbed through the book and found chapters 10-12. (I want to say that they were literally *after* chapters 15-17). I looked at the key words in each question to determine what particular topic was being discussed from which chapter. And then I made the best educated guess on each question that I could. I perused each answer and hoped and prayed that I read the tidbits I could find and answer the question as best as I possibly could. When it was all said and done, weary and dog-tired, I submitted the test.

     The cool thing about those kind of tests is that they are submitted and graded automatically by computer, so there is no waiting around. I shut my eyes for a moment, grimacing inwardly but not imagining the worst, and clicked on "show results". 

     I made an 85. Not a 76, like the other tests before. Not an 84, like I prayed. But an 85. Like God was saying, 

"I see ya and hear ya dear girl. Here's what you asked for, & an extra point just to show you I love you."

"As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust." (Psalm 103:13, 14 ESV)

Let our faith be increased. Let those who are weeping, perhaps see, and begin to laugh.